My sister Christi had a baby when I was 17, and I had just heard about crib death. The horrible thing was that it wasn’t understood. For some unknown reason the baby would stop breathing. So I would sneak into where the baby was sleeping and put my hand in her crib, hold her little finger, and I’d sleep on the floor like that. It was stupid, I’m sure. But I thought the warmth of my hand might help, that maybe if she felt my pulse it would remind her to breathe.
— Johnny Depp (via fuckyeahhjohnnydepp)
on my first day of work at mcdonalds a little girl came in with her dad and when i asked what she wanted she told me the party pack 50 piece chicken mcnugget and her dad was like no sweetheart you cant eat that much and she screamed YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY ABILITIES and then kicked her dad in the balls and he fell to the floor and she was only like 6 years old omg
